Testimonials

When people ask me about my birth story, I talk about it with pride, with positivity, and with a sense of empowerment that I genuinely feel will never leave me. So much of this is down to Hypnobirthing, and to our teacher, Leila, who guided us, educated us and supported us every step, and every breath, of the way.

My labour began on a cold, wintry Monday morning, a few days after my due date. I’d had Braxton Hicks for a number of weeks and was feeling tired, with a sore back, but I was also filled with so much excitement about birth and beyond. My surges were strong from the beginning, coming in relatively quick succession. I put on our calming Hypnobirthing tracks, pulled on my comfiest clothes and reminded myself of the affirmations that were written on post-it notes around the house. I remember having a shower and washing my hair in between contractions, not knowing when my hair might see shampoo again!

It took me a little while to get into the surge breathing flow. I’d practiced the breathing with Leila, with my partner, and on my own in bed before going to sleep, however applying it in real life is of course slightly different. Nevertheless, once I’d got into the breathing rhythm, it helped me enormously. I rode the surges using my breath, reminding myself that each one was bringing me closer to meeting my baby.

It turned out that, despite my contractions being long and quite close together, I was further from meeting my baby than I’d thought! Monday turned to Tuesday, Tuesday to Wednesday, Wednesday to Thursday. My days were spent at home, and were filled with hot baths, dancing to my favourite music, slow, surge-filled walks, back rubs, little bites of chicken salad sandwiches (that’s all I fancied!), and short sleeps between contractions. I focused on my calm breathing between contractions, and surge breathing during them. I felt lots of my contractions in my back, and while I’d hoped the TENS machine would help, it did the opposite!

My husband was brilliant throughout. He had embraced Hypnobirthing from the very beginning, and this meant that he knew how to guide me with my breathing and how to help me relax. What neither he, nor I, knew, was exactly when we should go into hospital, due to my erratic, strong, long contractions. We were in touch with the hospital who kept saying ‘You’ll know when to come in’ and advised us to continue labouring at home.

On Thursday, Day 4 of labour, I still didn’t have that ‘I need to go in’ feeling, and had to push to get an appointment. This was during Covid, so there were extra precautions, and while I felt my husband, bump and I were managing well at home together, I thought it would be useful to see how I was getting on. (Also, part of me was wondering how long this was going to go on for!).

At 3pm we were high-fiving in triage after being told I was 6cm dilated. I was so excited – 4cm to go! We’d hoped for a water birth in the Birthing Centre, and I went to see if my favourite room there was free - it was! I felt calm and in control and was savouring this time before we became a trio.One of the many benefits of Hypnobirthing is preparing you both physically and mentally for what you can control, and what you can’t. After an hour in hospital, things immediately became much more medicalised, something I’d really hoped to avoid. It turned out that my heart rate and blood pressure were sky high, I was very dehydrated and had low platelets in my blood tests. These factors meant that, after ruling out late-onset pre-eclampsia, I would still need extra checks and could therefore not have our baby in the Birthing Centre. I was definitely disappointed, but I knew too that I could make our Delivery Suite room as homely and comfortable as possible.

I appreciate that a salt lamp isn’t the most practical thing to take into hospital, but the calm orange glow had accompanied me during many a meditation at home, and so it featured in the Delivery Suite too! As did my little food station (I took a rucksack full of tasty snacks – you name it, it was in there!), my yoga mat and birthing ball. At this point Covid restrictions were still very tight and I didn’t know how long I’d be in, or how easy it would be for my husband to come in with extra provisions – consequently I had a lot of things with me!

What happened next may sound intense, and rather traumatic, but I want to preface it with the fact that each step of the way I felt so supported and so calm. This was down to the team on the ward, my fabulous husband, and an inner sense of trust in my baby and my body.

Each hour melted into the next in a blur of surges. For me, movement continued to be key when it came to minimising their intensity. Luckily the mobile telemetry was available allowing me to move around while the team kept an eye on my and my baby’s heart rates. The drip in my arm containing rehydration fluid restricted my movement, but I tried to ignore it as best as I could.

Seven hours later, I hadn’t dilated as much as the midwife had hoped. She suggested breaking my waters, and while I was initially reluctant, I did agree. Unfortunately, there was meconium in my waters, meaning that, while I was fortunate to have been given the only Delivery Suite room containing a birthing pool, I wouldn’t be able to go in it. Water and warmth had helped so much in the days prior to this, but I didn’t have much time to be disappointed. Not long after my waters were broken, my baby’s heart rate started dropping substantially after each contraction. I was immediately placed on my side with an oxygen mask on as the midwife rang for extra help. Thankfully things stabilised, and a fetal monitor was placed directly onto my baby’s head allowing them to better monitor the heart rate. At this point, due to the extra wire and my drip, I was unable to move around as easily which was certainly rather frustrating. My calm breathing and surge breathing were immensely helpful during this stage.

After stabilising, our baby’s heart rate once again dipped. There was a renewed sense of urgency in the room and another pull on the emergency cord. The room was filled with staff, my husband was told to throw on some scrubs and I was prepped to go into theatre for an emergency c-section – rings taped down, gown on, ready to go. I distinctly remember Leila’s soothing ‘Mountain Meditation’ playing in the background as all around me staff (I say staff very generally, as by this point there were so many people there, all wearing masks, and I was confused by who was who!) stepped into emergency-mode. I focused on my breathing, on Leila’s voice, on staying calm for me and my baby, and, looking back, I’m still surprised by how serene I felt despite everything going on.

Just before heading to theatre, the doctor took blood from my baby’s head to check the oxygen levels. The level was good enough to try for a natural delivery. He checked how dilated I was, and he was surprised to see I was 10cm (“I’ve never seen anyone so smiley and chatty who’s fully dilated!”). Our baby could be delivered naturally, but we were told it had to be done very, very quickly. There was the mention of forceps (something we were keen to avoid if possible), and while the doctor went to get them, our midwife encouraged us to start pushing. I was on my back with my legs in stirrups, the exact position I didn’t want to give birth in, but at the time it didn’t matter. All that mattered was pushing my baby out. I was filled with such a sense of purpose - I can honestly say I’ve never felt so determined to do anything in all my life. My midwife asked if I’d agree to an episiotomy to help get our baby out more quickly. Around ten minutes, and a small episiotomy, later, our baby boy was born. He came out with the cord wrapped around his neck twice (which I was later told was why I had such a long labour as he was effectively bungee jumping – trying to push his way down but not quite able to do it consistently). They took him straight across to the resuscitation area to give him a good rub down and check all was well before bringing him to me.

How surreal it felt to be holding my little boy (all 9lbs of him) in my arms! During our skin-to-skin bonding, I was advised to have the injection to remove the placenta. My body expelled the placenta, but I subsequently lost 2.5 litres of blood. The room was once again busy with people, but I held our little boy and focused on him and my husband’s smiling (and exhausted!) face as the bleeding stopped and my episiotomy was stitched up - all with minimal stress and discomfort. I didn’t have a blood transfusion, instead I stayed in hospital for two nights for monitoring and had an iron infusion before heading home.

We were lucky that our Delivery Suite wasn’t needed by anyone else that night. So, instead of my husband having to leave very shortly after the birth due to the Covid policy at the time (don’t get me started on those rules!), we were able to have some precious time together, just the three of us, as we got our heads around the fact that we were now Mummy and Daddy to our black-haired, blue-eyed boy.

The birth was nothing like we’d envisaged. Was this a bad thing? Not at all. It was four days of trusting in my body, taking it all minute by minute, breath by breath, using Hypnobirthing methods every step of the way. During pregnancy, I’d researched all the pain relief methods and knew which order I would ideally like to use them in if need be. In the end, I didn’t have any pain relief at all – I didn’t feel I needed it. All I needed was movement, breathing, and the fantastic emotional support from my husband. I say this not in any way to boast, but to highlight just how much power there can be in Hypnobirthing.

I still use my calm breathing now on those days when I’m feeling tired, or a bit frazzled by new-mum life. It helps me to re-centre, recharge and gives me a few seconds to reset my mind. I know I’ll be using some of my Hypnobirthing for the rest of my life!

It was important to me to share my story, just in case it might encourage another Mummy-to-be to consider Hypnobirthing, and also to perhaps help quieten any fears about giving birth. I’m so excited for those of you about to have your baby. It was, and always will be, the best thing I have ever done.